Wednesday, August 5, 2009

Catwalkology: I'm Too Sexy For My Body...Thetan

The Church of Scientology has always had an air of strangeness -- its own jargon, its e-meters, its secretive ways, and rumors that its theology involves the intervention of aliens. Well, why stop now?

Hot off the press from WWP: Scientology, and their paramilitary outfit, the SeaOrg, must have got bored with their 90's modeling of US Navy uniforms, and decided they wanted something new and exciting. So who's outfit do they mimic this time for their galaxy defending billion-year contractees?

Why the service industry, of course.

1) the Stewardess.
Straight off Xenu's DC-8 spaceplane, we've got a smart looking get-up that screams, "Coffee, Tea or Me". Yes, these jet-setters will be converting SP's by fluffing pillows and serving up your favorite 'volcanic beverage'.

2) the Butler.
Hold on to your hat and coat, because these glorified doormen are going to be fleecing all your pockets to be sure you give that maximum donation. Remember, KSW, keep scamming worshipers.

3) the Shagadelic.
I honestly have no idea where they came up with this hat'n cape combo. Possibly the designer had just finished an all nighter, topping it off with a viewing of "The Spy Who Shagged Me". Oh, beeee-have. Also, see Seinfeld reference [below] as to how these caped-crusader wannabes will be treated by the public.

4) the Busboy.
He may be a little tough to spot in the photo. He's way, way in back. If you look real hard you might be able to spot Scientology's token black-man, ready to clear your table as soon as you leave. Hint: leave a little on your plate, he's probably been surviving on 'rice & beans' the last few months.

If you'd like to see the original full page articles with photos, they're here and here.

And, we couldn't of got away with I'm To Sexy For My... in the title without including the video:
Right Said Fred - I'm Too Sexy (2007 Mix)

Seinfeld Clip: Man in Cape

1 comment: