Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Where's Your Head At, Scientology?

With all this XENU Revealed! media going on around the intertubes, you would think the midget king, David Miscavage, would poke his head out of whatever hole he's hiding in to defend the most ethical, fastest growing religion in the galaxy.

• Maybe all these volcano eruptions and rumblings this week have little Davie spooked, because he knows, according to Scientology's Incident III story, Xenu is trapped in a mountain (or volcano?) on one of the planets and kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery.

• Maybe he's down at the local Walmart trying to find an eternal battery charger, and got lost in aisle 666.

• Maybe he's just grabbed all Scientology's money, and is living on and island with Gilligan, 'cause we all know, Davie don't play that MaryAnn game.

• Maybe he found a portal into the Milky-Container Way, and is waiting for you to by his carton, so he can be released.

Who knows, who cares. Just sit back, hit play, and make your own best guess.

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