WWP : Rev. Modemac tips us off to a post by Rev. Zapanaz, who has a run-in with a couple of body routers in Washington state.
There was a big parade in Seattle last night, the Seafair parade. I hadn't really meant to go to it, I asked a lady out, but I did it b email and just before the time i planned to meet her, so I knew it was 50/50 if I would hear back from her.
Anyway so I went downtown so I would be there in time in case it did work out, and didn't hear from her until later. But then I looked up and all the streets were blocked off and there's this parade going down the street. So what the hell, I decided to walk along the parade route and bar hop. I like crazy crowds.
So I am walking through this crowd and enjoying myself, when this guy approaches me with an arm load of pamphlets. Immediately I wonder what he's selling.
He is a clean-cut, good-looking bright young guy. But with a bizarre element, he has this absolutely hideous glittery gold necktie on. It isn't just bad, it's bizarre. More clownish than like something a country-western singer would wear.
So he starts giving me his spiel, I see his pamphlets, SCIENTOLOGY in big friendly letters on the cover. Oh dear, one of them.
So first I give him a Church of the SubGenius spiel. I don't remember exactly where I took it, but I was on a roll, telling him about how J.R. "Bob" Dobbs has come to bring us back the slack which THEY have taken away, and all that kind of thing. I remember at some point I pulled out a picture of "Bob" from my wallet and showed him and said "DON'T YOU FEEL IT? THAT'S "BOB"!"
Anyway so he laughs and says "but that's all a joke, right?"
So I say "SO IS YOURS, MAN"
"Wake up, cult-boy. Don't you know L. Ron Hubbard just made all that stuff up to rook the gullible? There's nothing there."
He is non-plussed. "I can only speak from my own experience, but my own experience is it works. You can't knock it until you now what it's about."
"Sure", I say, "but the parts that work aren't original. Like take auditing for example ..."
He seems a little surprised that I know what auditing is. "You know about auditing?"
"It's really just a rewarmed form of meditation."
"I've done meditation," he says.
"And auditing is basically the same thing, isn't it? You know, you learn progressively to reduce your automatic reaction to stimuli and external circumstances."
He rephrases this in some minor way which doesn't really matter, I say "sure".
Then he says something about The Tech, the Scientology "technology".
I say "they just made some science-fiction-looking toys to make you feel like you have some super-advanced technology but what you're actually DOING is the same as what people have been doing for thousands of years."
He is really on no firm footing now. He says "but, the Organization..."
And see, at that point, I know I got him. Because he isn't disagreeing with any of what I'm saying. He's just trying to come up with something else, some other tack to salvage his religion.
"The organization is a cult, dude", I say, then walk away. He is standing there looking after me.
I think from the internet, I have gotten good at this kind of debate.
Then, just a half a block later on, I run into another one. Same bizarre hideous gold tie, same armload of pamphlets. This guy is older, and kind of bitter-looking, compared to the young bright clean-cut lad from earlier.
[continued at >>> groups.google/alt.slack]
SubGenius Commercial 
Film maker Douglass Smith directed this 1 minute SubGenius ad, which was originally shown on music video networks. It was written by, and stars, Rev. Ivan Stang. Stang is co-sub-founder of The Church of the SubGenius, the infamous UFO-sex-death cult from Texas, based on the Slack teachings of J.R. "Bob" Dobbs.
ARISE! Chapter 01 - Instructions
Ane chapter clipped from a new 25-chapter revised version of ARISE!, The SubGenius Movie. ARISE! Directed by Cordt Holland and Rev. Ivan Stang, written by Stang, narrated by Dr. Hal Robins; it was first released in 1988.
[more chapters available at google video]