Friday, May 29, 2009

Does Your Religion Have A TOS? Scientology Does.

Clearing the planet, one wallet at a time.

Does the leader of your church make you sign a contract before joining said church? Scientology seems to have a plethora of paperwork you must go through before starting up their bridge to nowhere.

For a church that says they're not all about the money, they've got an awful lot of lawyereze reading material for you that seems to be....all about the money. I just hit some highlights of this credit card style form (I'm not going to type out the wall of text) . If you want to read the complete Return of Donations TOS, click the link.

• First off, if you're asking for your money back, they imply that your motivations for seeking services was something other than spiritual improvement.
• The church may return all or a portion of the person's donations provided his request is approved by the Claims Verification Board. But before you start jumping through their three required hoops, glance at the catch all at the end of the statement,
Failing to follow this procedure or any deviation from it, such as seeking to involve third parties, including attorneys, immediately ends the procedure and the church will take no further actions to return the funds. That's right, keep it all in-house, away from those pesky prying eyes that the outside public is known for.
• And in case the above didn't keep your hard earned money in their coffers, a return of a donation is neither a legal right of a parishioner, nor a legal obligation of any Church.

But wait, you're not finished yet. You still have to sign the Statements By Staff Members Disclaimer. Another Scientology catch-all that promises nothing:

The Church, the Board and it's management take no responsibility for the statements or the claims made by the staff members regarding the workability of Dianetics spiritual healing technology or Scientology applied religious philosophy or any claims or promises made to public persons, the public or Scientologists.
Any promises of "cures" or results are not authorized and will not be honored by the Church, it's board of directors or management.

Wikipedia Update:

And more scuttlebutt about the ongoing Scientology Ban over at Wikipedia. Seems Scientology is falling back on their old Plan B after receiving an IP ban for trying to turn into a self-serving pulpit.

According to an Anon over at WWP, they've initiated Baaawww2.0, or better known as an e-mail appeal to get their right to write (and I didn't stutter) returned.

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